I was just in the kitchen enjoying a bag of pistachios. I say "enjoy" because I truly enjoy the whole process: dumping a pile of salty pistachios on a sheet of paper, shelling them one at a time and popping them in my mouth, coming across the occasional nut that isn't fully opened so i try cracking it with my molars sending shards of pistachio shell all up in my gums, folding that sheet of paper in half and carefully walking it over to the garbage can to dispose of the shells, slipping on a banana peel and cartoonishly falling feet up in the air while tossing all the shells airborne until you land flat on your back with a hard thud and the shells fall in your face with a few landing in your mouth and then you spit them out while saying some amusing catchphrase like "
Aww, nut again!". You know, the whole shebang.
Well I was halfway through the bag when I bit into one of the nuts and cringed at the bitter taste and unusual texture. What did I just bite into? a bug? a bug turd? did the nut shart itself? is that even possible? It only took a couple of seconds to realize that I didn't really want to know what it was I bit into. I just had to keep eating more nuts to get that taste out.
What would you do in that situation? Do you stop eating or keep going? Do nuts shart?
By the way, I played ukulele today. It was delightful.
5 comments:
Sounds more like a full-blown "shat" than just a shart.
i think in a situation like that, it's better to not look, not think about what you just almost ate, spit it out and move on. i bet there's people that seek out the sharty ones because they love them.
Eat more, to get the taste out of your mouth, then write some of them Ol' Rotten Nut Blues . . .
@Boozelele i'm afraid you were right.
@benmealer hey ben, great to see you commenting here. i'm pretty sure there is a sharty nut lovers club somewhere.
@TheJules now that's a great song title!
@睿玄 glad you like the blog, thanks for reading!
Pistachios are a weakness of mine. I could almost taste that shartiness while reading this, I shuddered a bit.
Me & my cousin have a thing at family gatherings.. there's always a bowl of mixed nuts & we enjoy enquiring "So- do you like these nuts, Grandma?". I don't think we'll ever grow up.
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