Thursday, December 30, 2010

Advice for the new year.

This dusty old year will be over very soon and while we wait to usher in the new year, here's a little friendly advice.  Have you ever asked yourself (or others via the internet) any of the following questions?
  • Should I play a soprano, concert or tenor ukulele?
  • What key should I play this song in?
  • Is it okay to use a strap with my ukulele?
  • What color uke should i buy?
  • Can I use a pick or is forbidden?
  • Why is Aldrine so damn handsome?
  • Low G or high G?
  • What is the correct pronunciation of "ukulele"?
Well, it's quite simple.  Please take a moment to watch this video from my Oakland contemporaries Digital Underground, and you'll soon know the key to good living and the answer to all of life's many many questions.



When you're done grabbing them in the biscuits, have yourself a happy new year!  *loud drunken applause*

Friday, December 17, 2010

Christmas Music For the Whole Family

It's easy this time of year to get caught up in all the commotion and forget about the true meaning of Christmas. Christmas is really all about over-indulgence; eating too much, getting lots-o-shit, and drinking till you pass out with the ones you love (or, as in my case, family). And nothing gets me in the Christmas spirit like music. So here are some of my favorite Christmas tunes. I hope you find the true spirit of the season within these timeless classics...as I have.

Jon Lajoie has some great music including and early version of the Beatles classic Blackbird (thank Adelle for that one). But his holiday song Cold Blooded Christmas is on par with Frosty the Snowman and Jingle Bells and is fast becoming the best Christmas song ever recorded.



Red Peters has a great tune called You Aint Getting Sh*t For Christmas, to compliment his other classics such as Blow Me, and You Promised the Moon (But I prefer Uranus)

If you're looking for a contemporary twist on an old standard there's the John C. Reilly and Will Farrell remake of David Bowie and Bing Crosby's Little Drummer Boy. And for a last minute gift idea check out Dick In a Box by Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake

Weird Al is really hit and miss. Of course he has classics like Eat it and Amish Paradise, but for this time of year nothing beats Christmas as Ground Zero.

And finally Trey Parker and Matt Stone of course have some terrific holiday classics: Eric Cartman Sings Oh Holy Night is a great one..but my favorite from the boys is Mr Hanky The Christmas Poo. And for after the holidays, check out Kyle's Mom's a Bitch.



I hope these beautiful songs help put you in the Christmas spirit. Cheers, and Happy Holidays.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

'Tis the Season

Well it's the end of another year here at UCB headquarters.  Most of the staff here have completed their year end reports (*ahem* Klevin) and they've been printed, bound and sent off to stakeholders far and wide.  It's time for celebrations all around. So whether you're celebrating the birth of baby Jesus, commemorating the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, or studying the Nguzu Saba, make sure you take time to stop and remember what the holidays are really all about: buying shit!

This is a good year for the gift of new music.  With such a musical goldmine to choose from like flashy tit-pop acts (Katy Perry), lesbianic second comings of Leif Garrett (Justin Bieber), shitty overproduced covers of songs you wish would just go away (Glee soundtrack), "country" artists (Taylor Swift), hey lookit me salmonella (Lady Gaga), and just plain dog crap (Black Eyed Peas), there is literally something for everybody.  So hit your record stores or wherever the hell kids buy music at these days and pump some money back into the music business so we can continue to enjoy the fruits of their collective labors.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Advertising May Not be My Calling (lots-o-language in this one)

So... you've seen these Herpes commercials, right? The ones where there's a couple standing together; he's got his arm around her & they're in a park, I think... they look like they're selling LL Bean clothing but then she says something like "Being careful is important to me... because I have genital herpes." and she looks up at him with this goofy "Whooops!" kind of face... like she just said something waaay less important, like "I locked the keys in the car- huh huh! I'm a fucking idiot!" except it's herpes... which I tend to take pretty seriously. Keep a straight fucking face when you talk to me about herpes, okay? Especially when my arms around you. Bitch.

So then the guy says "And I don't" & smiles real confident like. The voice over begins "Talk to your doctor blah blah blah..." and maybe at this point they go off riding their bikes on a tree canopied trail, or they jump into a hammock all giddy like in slow motion.... I don't know, you get the idea.

But what SHOULD happen...

"Because I have genital herpes..."

"What?! You fucking skank!"; throws his arm off of her, pushes her away in complete disgust.

"Robert, I..." & she reaches for him...

"Don't fucking touch me, you whore! You herpes whore! Jesus..." and he starts pacing & rubbing his forehead... "I took you home to meet my parents! When were you planning on telling me this?!"

Or there are the solo herpes commercials... just some chick standing watering her garden or something... she looks up at the camera & begins her story... "Living with genital herpes means..."

Then some guy yells out "Whore!"

She looks back, flustered, and begins again... "Living with genital herpes..."

"Herpes whore!"

Looks over her shoulder "... means that..."

"Slut!"

"Alright, ya know what? That is NOT funny... fuck this commercial.." hands over the camera lens...

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Uke Buyer's Remorse?

I'm not sure about my new Ukulele. I ordered it back in November 2008, and was really excited when I finally got it in late January 2009. I'm hoping to get others opinions. (I don't normally name my ukes...but I call this one Barry)


It all started back in 2007. I was really sick of the uke I had, It sucked right from the start. And for seven years I had put up with it's lack of intonation, crappy construction, and piss-poor sound. (I originally named that one "George", but more often referred to it as "Dumb-ass" or "Tard-wad") I hated it. I hated everything about it. I had originally ordered one from Tennessee, but received "George" instead. Even though it was built in Texas I gave it a chance....I had a feeling it would suck-ass, and I was right. George was probably the worst presi...uh...ukulele ever built.

Finally in 2008 It was time to get a new one. The choice came down to one that had good pedigree; it was a name-brand uke, wide-bodied, strong and just a little "feminine". It was forceful, and experienced, and I liked it a lot. But just when I was going to pick that one, a new one was revealed, and I got really excited about it. Built in Hawaii, finished in Chicago it was tall and slender. It had darker wood than any uke I've had before it, some would say "black in color". It had a smooth sweet sound, that impressed everyone. If it had one construction flaw it was that it's tuners stuck out a little bit, but so what. It gave me hope. And I thought "yes I can" play the ukulele. I chose the new, darker one over the feminine one. (As a final option I was offered and old decrepit, crotchety, bitter veteran uke from Arizona, but it reminded me a lot of "Tard-wad" so yeah....fuck that) Anyway, the choice was easy. I went with Barry.

I was proud of my new black uke..and I had no complaints...at first. Now it seems that it doesn't really have the "punch" that I had hoped. It's a little wimpy. No balls. Some times you need it to have a bad-ass uke, not just a smooth sounding one. I'm not really sure what to do about it. I guess I'll hang with it for now...hoping it gets better. But I am starting to wish I chose the feminine one.

What do you guys think?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Ukulele Fashion Sense



We are all aware of how popular the ukulele has become recently. It seems that everyone plays them now (or wants to). But don't worry guys, it's just a fad. Things like this come into fashion all the time...and then die out just as quickly. Douche-bag hats (see previous post) are in now, but pork-pie hats were in once, ten gallon hats, derby's, panamas, boaters, fedoras, even truckers hats have been popular. Just think of styles like the mullet, bell-bottom jeans, hot pants, parachute pants, Nehru jackets, and baggy pants. Some styles come full circle...beards were really popular in the 60's, then mustaches in the 70's, then goatees in the 80' and 90's, then shaved heads, now beards are back. One thing you can count on is that popular styles will come and go....and years from now, everyone will make fun of today's styles. Just like we do about past styles.

But here's the best part. Somewhere along the line tattoos and body piercings became a fashion statement. And guess what Ms. 20-something hipster.....someday you will be Mrs. 40-something-slightly overweight soccer mom....only you'll have full sleeve tats, giant stretched out earlobes, and scars from all your face piercings! The only evidence of me with long hair, a mustache and bell-bottom jeans is a couple old photographs....but you'll be living that shit everyday...for the rest of your life. What seemed like a good style sense back in 2007, is now permanently stained on your body. Way to go.

So to all you guys jumping on the ukulele band wagon, wear your goofy hat, dress in period clothing, put the harp rack around your neck, strap some cymbals between your knees, stomp on a tambourine, stick a kazoo up your ass, go crazy, have fun with it. But seriously, don't get one tattooed on the side of your neck. It's a BAD idea.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Does this hat make me look like a tool?



Answer: Yes.

There is regular chatter in the "uke community" about hats. Specifically pork-pie, fedoras, trilbies and the like. I'm not sure why, but something about "quirky" hats appeals to the same types of folks that are attracted to the ukulele.

Sadly, there are very few people who can pull off a hat without looking like a douche-nozzle. Howling Hobbit, Craig Robertson, Aldrine G - these guys can rock a hat. It just works.

But here's the thing. Because guys like the ones I listed can pull it off - there are others who think "maybe I can get away with it..." If you find yourself asking this question, allow me to assist you and save us all some embarrassment. No. You can't rock a hat. You will look like a smacked-ass tool-bag, etc... - in short, a pretentious moron.

You see my friends, cool is self-evident. You can't make it happen. Unless you are already pretty cool, a quirky hat will only amplify your lame. For that matter - most everyone looks idiotic in a pretentious hat. It's very unlikely that the strength of your charisma will overcome that. Particularly because it's unlikely that you have any charisma to begin with.

I confess, I've been tempted to try a greek fisherman's cap, or maybe an old fashioned Springsteen-in-the-70's newsboy cap... I understand the urge. Trust me, it'll just be inconsiderate of those who don't want to hurt your feelings. Don't put them in that position.

Hope this saves you some time, and more importantly, saves me from having to tell you that you look like you are wearing a bad Yogi bear costume.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Kanye West, and Other Tools


It's been a while since I've posted. Primarily because I'm still recovering from our last two UCB functions. But as the year comes to a close it is time again for the UU Undie awards. And of course...as always...I have an opinion. Firstly let me say that I have never won one. Nor would I expect to, there are just too many folks out there that are actually good. However, someone I have never met nominated one of my videos (ok, it was a UCB collab) but still....I gotta say, I'm really flattered. Maybe more so than actually winning.

We have talked before about how beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and judging any kind of art is completely subjective, and success in music is about popularity, not talent....etc. You only have to look to the Grammy awards to see how this plays out. Kanye West and Paul McCartney both have 13 Grammys. The Beatles as a band have 4. Eminem has 11. Cold Play has the same number as Simon and Garfunkel. Santana won 8, but all in 2000 with that dip-shit Rob Thomas, and NONE in the 70's when he was actually good. Beyonce has 16, but do you know how many Neil Young has? Take a guess....1, yes ONE and it was in 2009 for Best Boxed or Limited Edition Package. Seriously?

So, back to the Undies. This award takes "popularity contest" to a new low, by allowing people to nominate themselves, and then try to get others to vote for them. If I nominated my own video, and then conscripted all my face-book friends to go vote for it, and I won the god damned award...then what? Do I go to bed thinking "wow, I'm good". No, I go to bed thinking "wow, I'm a tool!". Im not saying that all Undie winners are "tools". The vast majority are very good, and very deserving. But soliciting votes....?

So if I am going to win an Undie, it will be because people decided on their own to vote for me. I will not nominate myself, and I will not ask people to vote for me....and anyone who does...is, in my opinion...a d-bag. And just one more thing, if I DO win, I hope I take after Neil Young, and win for "Best Package".

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Scrotum Song

Yeah. It's that kind of day.


Sunday afternoons were made for the Asylum Street Spankers...

How did we not write this?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Bo Diddley, the Original Mack Daddy

Bo Diddley is so cool he can play songs with his name in the title.

"Bo! Awesome song! What'cha gonna call it?"

"Bo Diddley."

"Don't ya think that's a little-"

"Don't question Bo Diddley! If Bo Diddley says the name of the song is Bo Diddley, then the name of the song is Bo Diddley!"

Seriously. There's the self titled track, Bo Diddley, then there's Hey Bo Diddley, The Story of Bo Diddley, Bo Diddley is Loose, Bo Diddley's Hootnanny... he even has a song called Bo Diddleys Dog. Then there's Bo's Blues, Bo's Guitar, Bo's Twist, Bo's Waltz... and my personal favorite title: Bo's a Lumber Jack. Yeah, seems like he was stretching at that point.

"Bo Diddley's gonna play a new song. It's a song about Bo Diddley. It's called 'Bo Diddley put the Rock in Rock N Roll'"

"Bo, it's kind of presumptuous to-"

"Quiet! Bo Diddley did put the rock in rock N roll! Now you best settle down before Bo Diddley takes it back out!"

He did, however write the classic blues song I'm A Man, so thanks for that one! I'm thinking the reason most of his songs were written about himself is ... well... check some of his other titles: You Ugly, Cookie Headed Diddley... and... I'll Lick Yo Face. Yes I'm serious about that one.

"You'll lick my what?!"

"Bo Diddley will lick yo face! Don't make Bo Diddley do it!"

"Bo, Bo... calm down!"

"Do you want Bo Diddley to lick yo face?! Bo Diddley swears he'll do it!"

I don't know why Bo Diddley becomes Ike Turner in my head ;)

Friday, November 19, 2010

Have you seen him?


Portland, OR — Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office has enlisted the help of local law enforcement agencies just across the state line to pursue a public menace.  Authorities have been looking for Klevin McBiel (aka Karaoke Klevin, aka Tunes McGee, aka Tom Jones Lite) for nearly four years.

A Multnomah County arrest warrant was issued for the sing-songy fugitive in April, 2006.  It stems from several complaints of loud and awesome karaoke singing pouring out from Portland's seediest roadhouses.  The victims at the time were all under the age of 38, one being as young as 19 years old.  McBiel has family and friends along the Washington/Canada border as well as close connections in Alaska.  In the past he has lived in Colonial Williamstown, NY; Tacoma, WA; and Fresno, CA.

Since being sworn into office one year ago, Multnomah County Sheriff, Judson B. Rumburger, Jr. has placed a high priority on seeking out and arresting karaoke performers who blow too many minds.  This week, Sheriff’s Office Citizens Services Commander, Lt. Barry Nutbutter, and Crime Prevention Specialist, Timothy Satchnab, have been handing out wanted posters with McBiel’s picture to businesses along the Oregon/Washington border where he is believed to have been living.

McBiel is 6-foot-8 and weighs about 3 sacks of large russet potatoes. He has blue eyes and was last seen with red hair, but may have changed the color.  Do not attempt to confront McBiel directly, as he is known to be wielding a golden microphone and is not afraid to use it.  If you may know of McBiel's whereabouts you may be eligible for a reward through Crime Stoppers of Multnomah County.  That number is 1-800-555-TIPS (8477). 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Short Review of Adellapalooza 2.0

It went something like this...

"Hahahaha!"

"Shot time!"

"uuuhhhhh.... I'm dying."

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Bitch bitching about bitches.

Sweden is a great country in many ways. We have beautiful, clean nature, a very democratic, equal society and a health care system that would make the Tea Party Patriots vomit with revulsion, just by thinking about how well we take care of those less fortunate. Well, fuck all that! I'd be happy to go all Sarah Palin on those poor fuckers, just to get a piece of some of those great things you have in the USA. I'm not talking about the Second Amendment, Adam Sandler or even Baconnaise.


I'm talking about bitches. Not any ol' kind of bitches (we have plenty of those), but the Uke Crazy Bitches. I want to be with you Uke Crazy Bitches. And most of all, I want to go to the Adellepalooza! Oh man… Just thinking of all of you laughing, singing, playing, drinking, smooching, swordfighting and snacking on sausages without me just breaks my poor sensitive little emo heart.


But I hope the image of me, naked and in foetus position on my cold cellar floor, crying my eyes out - while the rest of my family and friends celebrate my sons 2nd birthday upstairs - won't spoil the party for you all…


Happy Adellepalooza, bitches!


The happy days...

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Yeah yeah... We know he's good.



I love James Hill... I really do. He's nauseatingly talented, refreshingly creative, and by all accounts a damn nice guy. I'm not posting this because of him though - but because of Anne Davison on cello.

The thing is, I've been looking for a cello player for nearly two years under the assumption that the cello is a near perfect compliment for the uke for both bassline and melody. After being pooh-poohed about the idea and told it would never work by a large number of players, here is fine example of the concept. James and Anne have been playing together most of this year and every time I hear them I'm blown away. So yeah, cello + uke = awesome.

Of course, now every clown and his brother will be snapping up cello players like bacon and biscuits, not to mention making James/Anne comparisons when I finally do find a cello buddy myself, but hey - at least I know I was right.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Interview with a Ukulele Bigwig - Aldrine Guerrero

Dictionary.com lists the origins of the term "bigwig" as coming from around the years 1725–35 and to mean an important person or more specifically, "person important enough to wear such a wig".  I'm hoping that we'll be able to score a series of interviews with notable ukulele players that are indeed important enough to sport such wigs; let's call them wigs of awesomeness.  So to kick off the first of the series, we have here an interview with Aldrine Guerrero, one third of the team (along with Ryan Esaki and Aaron Nakamura) that brings you Ukulele Underground (www.ukuleleunderground.com), and the face of many ukulele lessons, tutorials, and stellar music performance videos that are to be found on the internet.  If you play the ukulele, you've probably heard of him and may have read lengthy bios about the ukulele wunderkind and his many accomplishments as a musician, teacher, teenage heartthrob, and all around cool dude.  
Let's get started, shall we?


UCB: If you could invent a salty snack, what materials would you use, what would you name it, and how many varieties would you offer?  would there be a shrimp option?

AG: I would call my salty snack "Aldy juniors".  It'd be 2 balls of macadamia nuts covered in dark salty chocolate with small thread-like laces of sea salt all around it. I'd offer it as "plain lumps" or "with seaweed"
Shrimp isn't an option but I heard they go well with a single shrimp in the middle.

UCB: Au natural, more seaweed please!  If you had a chance to play a recurring character in any 80s sitcom, which would it be and why?

AG: The Hogan family. I'd play Hulk Hogan... well... for obvious reasons *flex*
I'd bodyslam the hell out of Mrs. Toole (if you know what I mean... hehe)

UCB: Huh huh, you said "Toole"... Okay so you're walking down the street and approach an intersection.  The light turns red but there are no cars.  Do you cross the street anyway or do you press the button and wait?

AG: The question is invalid, I never "walk" anywhere. That's what chauffeurs are for.

UCB: Point taken, answered like a true ukulele bigwig.  Well done, sir!  
How many marshmallows can you fit in your front left jean pocket before it becomes uncomfortable to walk?  How about the right jean pocket?

AG: On the left, it'd be about 3. I would hate for the marshmallows to ruin perfectly good denim. On the right, 376. Helps me with my pimp walk, WHAT UP?!

UCB: If you were at a zoo and could adopt any animal, which would you adopt and what would you name it?  The catch is, the animal has to live with you in your house and not in a cage or outside in the yard.  oh and you would have to dress it as your twin everyday. Take your time with this question.  It's not to be rushed.

AG:
I'd adopt one of those zoo workers (those filthy animals) and name him Eduardo. Dress him up like me and have him clean up after me >:0

UCB: My middle name is Eduardo, will you adopt me?  No? okay fine.

What color are my eyes?

AG: The color of of beautiful (quasihomo)
A rabid fan..... and Pikachu

UCB:  Awww, go on. Well, thanks very much for the interview Aldrine.  Your life is as interesting and colorful as your stack of Pokemon game cartridges.  Thanks also for being such a generous and upstanding member of the ukulele community.

For further reading, please check out the inimitable Aldrine Guerrero and his ukulele prowess at these following websites:


http://www.ukuleleunderground.com
http://www.youtube.com/ukuleleoversoul
http://www.twitter.com/aldrine
http://aldrine.livejournal.com/

Stay tuned for more interviews from other ukulele bigwigs.  Please leave any comments and suggestions for future interview subjects below.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Gear Review - Soprano Gig Bag from Mainland Ukes


I've never done a ukulele review before because I never felt confident that I could accurately explain how any particular uke sounds or feels.  The best I could probably do for a uke review would be to say "It's great!"  or maybe "Not shitty. I recommend this thing." A review that's not exactly helpful for anyone.  I'll leave ukulele reviews to pros like Ken Middleton and Deach.

Soooo, I thought I'd try to give a review of this ukulele gig bag (aka soft case, aka uke satchel) that I bought from Mainland Ukes a few weeks back.  I've had a chance to use it on several occasions where I had to take my ukulele on the go.  So far, I love it!  It's way lighter than my previous hard shell case and I like the ability to sling it over my shoulder and be discreet on public transit without having to constantly field questions about the contents of my uke case.  I mean, it looks like a old timey frontier canteen or maybe a designer colostomy bag so nobody will ever ask what's in it.  They wouldn't dare to!

"You can put your uke in there"
(click photo for larger image)
The gig bag has somewhere between a quarter and half inch of dense padding which makes the uke feel very secure when the bag is zipped up.  There is a block of foam inside that is designed to support the neck although i'm never sure those things are necessary.  If you sit on this case, there's no saving that neck!  The rubberized plastic handle of the gig bag is comfortable to grip and feels balanced when you hold it as you parade up and down the sidewalk.  The front pouch is spacious enough for storing your Flip camera, mini tripod, tuner, and 8.5x11" music sheets if you fold them in half.  Might be good for a hip flask and a few packs of cigarettes if you roll like that.  The single padded shoulder strap can be concealed by a zippered flap as seen in the photos below.  The gig bag is available in this teal color as well as black.  Mike from Mainland says it sells for the special homeboy discount price (for UU and UCB) of $17.95.  Note that this isn't the same gig bag that is currently available on the Mainland website.  I believe this one is better because of sturdier padding and the addition of a shoulder strap (oh and the color. teal is always better).  Please contact him at mike@mainlandukes.com if you are interested in purchasing one.

"Like a transformer but way less violent."
(click photo for larger image)

Also, these gig bags are surprisingly versatile.  In a pinch, it can be used as a lunch bag, diaper bag, sassy purse for that blind date, knitting needle storage, grocery bag for salami shopping, etc.

"so many uses!"

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Game On

In 5 short weeks, it'll be time again for The Liver Olympics. I know everyone's been training hard & will come with their game faces on.

I refer, of course, to Adellapalooza 2.0.

It's been 3 years since the first installment- the fist time that any of the UCBers met live & in person. I will never forget that first day (though most of the first night is a blur. The last thing I remember is Russ saying
"This Alize is too sweet. Let's dilute it with vodka!" ). At that time, the ukulele community was considerably smaller- UU was in its infancy- collabs were still a new, novel thing. It seemed crazy to be getting together- completely unreal.

I was looking at some of the pictures this morning & I think what struck me most was "Shit. My house has not changed in 3 years. My crap is all still in the same places."

Nothing could compare to that first visit, but I know this one is going to be equally awesome. I finally get to see Klevin & Grumpy in my native environment, and take them on the 30 second tour of my hometown. Some overdue collabs will be recorded, the 2 other Asian people that live in this county will no longer feel alone, and I get to spend time with the best freaking assholes in the world.

3 years almost to the day. I cant remember the exact date of the first event, but I know it was mid November. It feels like much longer. The craziness that has ensued since then...

I have been consumed by jealousy over the last two get togethers that I wasn't able to attend, and I can't explain how much I'm looking forward to this. I've become quite the Suzie Q Homemaker lately- I have a garden, and I'm doing cross stitching... it's sort of bizarre. I enjoy it, I'm happy... but it's time for a good ole fashioned throw down. Time for the word "balls" to be heard in 20 second intervals, time for impromptu songs & nicknames. It's time for "Seriously, Russ & Booze? Another Neil Young song?", it's time for "Just drink it, you pansy". It's time for inappropriate behavior in public, and gay overtones. It's time.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

UU Show at DaSilva's and Other Myths

Our own Boozelele wrote a recent post about how exceptional it is to be able to travel and play music with folks we met online. He sums it quite well, so I won't waste space reiterating how amazing it is - suffice it to say that it's been the highlight of my grumpy ass little world of late, and I consider myself one of the luckiest SOBs alive to be able to do what we do.

This past weekend, I flew back down to San Francisco to hang out with Russ, Trina, and Corser. Aaron, Aldrine, and Ryan from UU came in from Hawaii for a show at Mike DaSilva's workshop in Berkley, and Russ was one of the opening acts - I could't miss that.


We kicked off the visit by a trip to BevMo - if you are not from California, picture a K-mart that only sells liquor. See the post below for details on that, but just recall the following advice from Trina: "Next time, leave the novelty liquor on the damn shelf..." Wise woman that Trina.

The rest of the weekend was a blur of astonishing food, killer music, hilarious "your mom" jokes, and damn fine friends. The stand out moment of course was the show itself. Like last year, Aldrine invited a big line up of opening acts. This time there was Trina B and Addison, RussBuss (with special grumpy guest), and Monique and her sisters. Everyone killed. It was an intense show - and Ryan and Aldrine really outdid themselves as the main event. Not only did they mange to make two grown men cry (not kidding) but managed to charm the fire department into not shutting the place down from the crowd by just being that awesome. It was a damn fine night. Russ' brother showed up and we all went out and gorged ourselves on pizza until they threw us out of the joint.


A Saturday trip to a great breakfast joint (where Grumpy learns to order properly) followed by the obligatory tour of the Haight and it was time to pack it in and head home.

We spent a lot of time missing our UCB siblings, but managed to hold our own on liquor and insults in your honor. Honestly, I spent most of the time just astonished that I got to participate at all. It's a good life.

Special thanks to the UU heroes for letting me on stage, to Russ for drinking corn whiskey with me and inviting me to play, to Corser for allowing me to sleep on his bed again, and of course to Trina - for tolerance beyond explanation and general awesomeness (next time I get the hashbrowns).


More great pictures here...

Monday, September 27, 2010

Finish the job!

During the Ukulele Underground tour visit over the weekend, Coyote and I polished off a bottle of Hendrick's gin and about 90% of this corn whiskey. Somebody needs to come back and finish the job.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Motel Buss


So tomorrow, we'll be hosting ukulele players again.  It's time to change the sheets, scrub the toilet, hide the guns, etc.  Including this upcoming weekend, we will have played host to more than 10 different ukulele players here in Casa de Corserdog this year alone.  This isn't a complaint post, I find it really neat that because of this whole ukulele community thing, we have the opportunity to get close and personal with ukulele players from all over the states (and the world).  As a host, I always wonder what kind of things I should do to prepare for our guests.  Are there special foods I need to stock up on?  Specific liquors?  *ahem* herbs?

So I was at the supermarket today wandering the aisles thinking about what I could stock up on.  I skip past the frozen pizzas because I figure we can just order a pizza for delivery if we get hungry.  I bypass the beer aisle because alcohol is the devil.  Big bag of chicken parts?  Nah, too much work to clean the grill.  Well all I ended up buying was a box of Cheez-Its.  Everybody loves Cheez-Its right?  I mean, it's un-American not to.  I figure that cheese snacks and tap water will make our house one step above a youth hostel, and that's all we ever need to aim for right?

Monday, September 20, 2010

Come On, Who Doesn't Like Boobs?

That's right, boobs. Naked boobs! Breasts, tits, hooters, jugs, cans, fun bags, dirty pillows. There I said it. It's right here in the body of this blog, hell it's there in the title..and you can be damn sure it will be in the tags. Why? because of the traffic it will generate of course!!!! We all know that sex sells (no one watched Bay Watch for the acting) and it is my contention that youtube videos with breasts, get more hits than those without breasts. Im not sure it is enough to just have it in the title or in the tags, I think the still-shot, the thumb-nail of the video needs to have them (I'm not talking bare breasts here, just a low cut top, or a little cleavage. You want them to watch the vid, not wank the one-eyed-wonder-weasel looking at the freeze frame) And imagine if the uke player also has breasts!!!! Youtube-partner-bucks here we come!!! I am certainly not implying that any of our female ukulele friends don't deserve every single hit/sub they get..but seriously if it meant 100k a year in free youtube money, I'd have them out there more than Pam Anderson, Drew Barrymore, and Anna Nichole-Smith combined!!! (are my references dated?) No matter, you get my point. ....now, If only man-boobs garnered the same response....

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Love Fest is Over

I never claimed to be a smart man, so if I am wrong here, please someone correct me. It seems to me that a couple days ago this blog had 63 registered followers. We now have 62. That would imply that someone (and you know who you are) made the conscious decision to remove themselves from the list. Kind of like unsubscribing to a youtube channel. Or deleting a face-book friend. I totally understand not following the blog, or not viewing all of the videos that show up in your youtube subscriptions window...but to go in and unsubsribe? Or unfollow our blog? Was it something I said? Maybe it was because my last post was not offensive enough. Well, whoever you are...screw you!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Modern Days Kick Ass

Its tough returning to work after a vacation. Nine out of Ten times I return to work thinking to myself, "Man, I need a vacation". I think the whole idea of vacation is to return to work rested and rejuvenated. That just doesn't seem to happen. I always need time to recover from my vacation....
...but that's not what I wanted to write about. It dawned on me while flying home from Oakland last weekend that we live in one crazy-ass modern world. With the advent of the Internet, text messages, skype, mpeg's, jet airplanes, gmail-chat etc. the whole world has changed. Add to the techno stuff this little innocent musical instrument and the result is a whirl-wind of video collab's, traveling to meet new friends, making best friends, playing music with people from all over the world, and having more fun than anyone deserves. I have to admit that UCB is a special group. But we are not the only special group! There are a bunch of good people taking advantage of this crazy modern technology to do the same thing we do. You see the Chicago ukers get together and play and then meet-up with the Milwaukee peeps. Casetone plays with Ken and Krabbers. Rel Bar jams with Hoosier Hiver and Derik - DeG, Dirk, Sebi, Ralf, Theresa, people from all over the world, become friends. Aldrine visits So-Cal and as we speak is on his way to the bay area. Michelle plays with Bosko and Honey, and comes to America to meet us all. The list goes on. These uke meetups have become so common, either through the Internet or in person, that it is easy to take it for granted. But I think back just 20 years....I know to many of you that seems like a long time...to me, it's not. No cell phones, no computers (or at least no Internet). We could fly, but there was no way to really know the people at the other end of the flight. Video kinda sucked. 4 track recorders were pretty much the best you could get for your shitty garage band. Now look at us. Don't get me wrong, we are still a shitty garage band, but we practice through skype and gmail chat. We have friends that we would never have known, never could have known before. I'm supposed to be the a-hole in this group, But I gotta say, I love these UCB people. And I am humbled by the opportunity to meet all the other great people from all over the world who come together because of this kooky little instrument. Now...unfortunately I have to get back to work, and allow my body to heal.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Napa Wine Country Ukulele Fest Recap


I'm a little afraid to say this, because it might ruin my reputation as a complete train-wreck, but I actually remember the events of this past weekend, September 10-13.  It may have been that I consumed just the right amount of alcohol or enough water to counterbalance the effects of said alcohol, or maybe the whole adage of "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger", has suddenly turned me into some kind of hot mess superhero.  Whatever it was, I'm happy to report to you what I recall from this weekend of ukulele mayhem.

On Friday, by some act of divinity, Boozelele, Little6ster and GrumpyCoyote (aka GrumpSauceNoPants) all arrived at the Oakland Int'l airport at the same time.  Not a few hours apart each, but exactly at the same moment.  This means I only needed to make one trip to the airport.  You can hear the oil wells all breathe out a big sigh of relief.  We then headed straight to Oakland Chinatown where I  introduce them (somewhat menacingly) to Vietnamese sandwiches. Turns out they liked the food very much, and they even had a "vegetarian" option for Grumpy. The rest of the day was drinking and jamming at the house.  6ster brought us all some wine from France for our drinking pleasure.  Did you know they made wine in France too? Wild!

On Saturday, we (for some reason) had a late start heading out to the Wine Festival in Napa.  The drive was beautiful, but extremely long.  We were all antsy to get to the event because we were running so late.  Boozelele was especially anxious to get there because he was forced to listen to country music on most of the ride.  The only times we weren't listening to country music, it was Marilyn Manson on the stereo.  Not a good day to be Boozelele.  We met Craig Brandau, Cali Rose, Ken Middleton, Don, Bruce and Bruce's son when we arrived at the festival.  Kind of farted around for a while and then played some songs with Ken on stage as well as off to the side on a dirt hill.  Picnicked with Don, Bruce and son, Dominator and his wife.  Browsed the ukulele marketplace section and met some more cool people, Lorenzo (all the way from Italy), Victoria Vox, Mandalyn May.  Strummed some ukes, nodded our heads like we understood the subtle differences between tonewoods and strings, then disappeared into the parking lot.  It was time to go home and do some serious drinking!!  We recorded some tunes that night and were joined by Mandalyn who is a totally cool chick.  In case you don't know, she's a roaming musician that just kind of floats around California (and the world) and plays music all over the place.  That's cool!  She also had a bag of guv'ment chips she got from the Strawberry Music Festival.  I just finished the last of it today!


Sunday was something else, the five of us went to eat brunch (or by the time we got out of the house, it was more like late lunch) at an outdoor restaurant on the waterfront of the bay.  We had bloody marys, omelettes, burgers and sunshine.  Beautiful day to be outside (and alive!).  We then ran into some hipsters that had been partying for 2 or 3 days straight and Mandalyn and 6ster took turns serenading a dude that was passed out on a bench.  His friends just stood there and laughed and laughed and laughed.  We have video of the happenings and it will likely be posted to Youtube soon so keep your eye out for some kind of jackass montage on one of our channels.  We then took some prom photos next to the waterfront and then headed home to meet up with Don and Bruce, who were waiting patiently for us while our tardy asses made our way home.  More drinking and jamming.  It's what we do.

Monday was for hangovers and saying goodbyes.  One of the many reasons I hate Mondays so much.  Another wonderful UCB gathering full of fun, music, adult beverages and laughs all around.  What more can a person ask for?  (other than winning the lottery and buying New Hampshire)

Good times....

Here are some songs we recorded this past weekend:

(More pictures to come)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

It's Tuesday...

...and my liver still hurts.  I had way too much fun this weekend hanging out with Boozelele, Little6ster, Grumpy Coyote, Mandalyn May (musicmayi), Bruce (uke5417), Don (dearoldnutjob), Ken Middleton, Dominator and his wife Joanne.  And before you stop me to say that i'm a name-dropping douchebag, let me continue.  I also had the pleasure of meeting Lorenzo (krenfilm), Victoria Vox, Craig Brandau and Cali Rose.  Ukulele festivals aren't usually my thing but it can be a lot of fun if you have your friends there and a styrofoam cup full of wine that we snuck onto the property.

I'd write more but I have a lot of recovering to do.  Hopefully one of the others will fill you in with more details.  Meanwhile, take a look at this photo.  You can't look at it without smiling.  Go ahead, try!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

I don't get it...

Why is a church in Florida burning Duran Duran recordings? Aren't they about 20 years too late with that?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

UCB can haz acting chops

The Ukulele Underground guys asked for some acting help for their latest ukulele lesson and UCB was happy to deliver. If you must know, we are all classically trained foot actors. That's like a hand model, but with feet and curtain calls. Thanks to Aldrine, Ryan, and Aaron for providing the stage.



Check out Ukulele Underground's video lesson here:
http://ukuleleunderground.com/2010/09/uke-lesson-33-good-riddance-time-of-your-life/

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The UCB Philosophy?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

UCB to join the century club


The UkeCrazyBitches YouTube channel has been stuck on 99 videos for long enough. We've been sitting on our hands (some have been sitting on their thumbs, *ahem Klevin*) waiting to produce a hundredth video. There are many ideas out there for a group video, ideas such as The Jackson 5 (plus 3), Backstreet Boyz vs. nSync, group mentos/dietcoke fizz bomb with tragic ending, Civil War reenactment, the Full Monty, etc.

The problem is, we just can't decide. So we would like to ask you, the public(all 3 of our readers), for advice on what you'd like to see.  Please leave your comments and suggestions below. The more ridiculous the idea, the better. Thanks in advance!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Take the UCB Dare!!!

I dare you to watch this video. Post how long you last in the comments. And I'm sorry

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Aw, heck!

Hoosierhiver debuts the new Mainland Banjo ukulele. Available in winter 2010. If it's as inexpensive as Mike says it will be (around $280), Fergitabboutit! It will fly off the shelves. But I think it needs a nickname. Suggestions?

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4100/4885985246_9d59e5a899.jpg

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

FNG's


Just about a year ago, I was the "F'n New Guy" here at UCB. In a secret ceremony involving three live chickens, 13 black candles, 7 pounds of salt, and a dwarf named "Chico", the UCB gang made me one of their own.

After a year of kicking me around, it's well past time to open the books yet again and indoctrinate two new contributors to our dysfunctional and deliriously happy crew here at UCB.

You may know him as Robin, Baron, BaronK69, the Swedish Chef, or my Scandinavian Candy Bear, but his rockin' style, unstoppable facial hair, and ripping solos make him a great addition to the crew...

And fighting it out with Adelle for our token estrogen provider (even though we all know that title belongs to Russ) the astonishing Little6ster brings the blues, a wicked slide uke, and buckets of French wine.

So please join us in welcoming these two newest members as UCB breaks borders and goes international. Look for collabs, kooky blog posts, and more shenanigans all the way around the globe.

At least I'm not the FNG any more...

Thursday, August 5, 2010

If Swayze could do it, so can you!

Patrick Swayze wrote and performed "She's Like the Wind", which was featured in the gotta-love-it movie Dirty Dancing(1987). Is the song cheesy? Yes. Is it awesome? Also yes. Even if you don't like the song, you gotta give the man credit for writing it. (R.I.P Patrick Swayze)

Do you need motivation to write an original song? Here's a good opportunity to get those creative juices flowing. It's Grumpy's Bring the Song Challenge contest with a very generous prize (mango tenor ukulele) from the good folks at Mainland Ukuleles.

You can find all the details here:



Also, please check out the contest sponsor, Mainland Ukuleles:

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Thank you for subscribing.

I am always thrilled and thankful to see new subscribers to my channel. I feel like I owe them at least the customary "Thanks for the sub" message on their channels. Then if I happen to browse their channel's content and like what I see, I will in return subscribe to their channels. That's makes sense right?

Lately, I've been getting a lot of sub4sub tools that are just subscribing in order to get you to return the favor. You'll know these guys when you visit their channels and they have 0 videos and 5000+ subscribers and belong to Youtube groups such as "sub4sub asstards" and "heylookatme.org". So I get it, that's certain peoples' game: create a Youtube account and see who can get the most subscriptions without hosting any actual content. I'm sure it's a proud thing to claim you have an audience of thousands of like-minded time wasters. Cool, good for you.

Now the part that really chaps my hide. When a sub4sub person subscribes to your channel, then you visit their channel to post the standard good faith "Thanks for the sub" comment, then they in turn post a comment on your channel saying something like "hey, sub me back or i'll unsub you."

um, F U and the H you R in on!

That is all...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Neil Gaiman's Cthulkhelele


Not sure if it's his, but he posted this awesome monstrosity on Twitter this morning.
I sooo want it.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A Cry for Help?

Or just attention?


Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Like the world needed another f-ing forum...



Chalk this up to "shameless self-promption"... appologies.

The Bring the Song CD is in production. The first compilation should be out by fall of this year (provided some of you stop reading and go make me MP3s damnit... ahem).

The Challenge was so unexpectadly popular that I've expanded on the idea.

The Bring the Song Project.

A community focused on helping one another write and publish songs. I'm setting up more challenges, more compilation CDs, and eventually annual song-writing grants to help musicians get projects off the ground.

One thing that's missing - you. Managing the playlists over at youtube became obcene. I've set up another f-ing forum so we can keep track of stuff and gibber about songwriting.

I need you lot to pop in, help post some songwriting resources, and of course, post your latest creations. It's no fun if I just post to myself. I've tried.

http://bringthesong.org/phpbb

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Tune Yards

Just awesome....




Her name is Merill Garbus - but the act is "Tune Yards", (her and who ever she can grab at the time). Punk sentiment, performance art style, and a distorted baritone uke... what's not to like?

We need more rockin' out on ukes.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Not the Way I Want It, Not the Way I Need It (oooh)

So, my son is 12 now. Weird age. Half the time he acts like he's 17 & the other half he acts like he's 4. Part of being an almost teenager is driving your parents crazy, right? Well, he's certainly figured out the perfect method. He doesn't slam the door, or stand with fridge open, or anything that I can just "grrr" at then forget about in 5 minutes. Oh no. Not my boy. What he does... it haunts me all night, even after he's in bed. Every day he tortures me- at home, in the car- even in public. It's... it's just wrong. It's horrible. It's.... a Journey song.

"Dooooonnnn't stop beleeeeiiiving... hold on to that fee-ee-lin!"

Oh yeah. Every freaking day.

See, at the last school concert they sang that song. Afterward (after I ran out of the auditorium screaming & projectile vomiting, that is) I informed him that Journey is like my musical achilles heel- like a, like a super-sonic vacuum that sucks all the soul out of me & then I'm all crampy & I have to wash my hands & my ears & go to the bathroom &... well, you get the idea. Not a fan.

I also thought it was really funny that song was chosen. The kids were 11-13. Are they supposed to think Journey is cool? Is this the music teacher trying to "connect" with them? (Then someone told me they did that song on Glee recently.) (Then I asked them my same two questions again.)

Anywho... my son has a pocket full of Journey cryptonite, & he's not shy with it. Walks around the house maybe just humming it quietly, or full blown sings it all exaggerated like. He's clever with it, uses it to his advantage as he knows that I a.) usually forget whatever else we were talking about, & b.) don't mind him going away at that point. I'll suggest some quality family time & he starts singing Journey & all the sudden it's okay for him to go back up to his bedroom/teen-cave. He's smiling & now I have f*cking Journey stuck in my head.

I actually have it stuck in my head right now. Stupid blog entry...

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

It takes about a month...

...for me to get video footage from my camera to the internet. That's what you get when you purchase your USB cable from some dude off the side of the freeway off ramp.

There have been many UWC compilation videos out there and I know you're all tired of seeing them, but screw you guys, here is mine anyway.



I want to warn you after you've already viewed this video in front of your children, that there are a couple of mild expletives in there. So don't say I didn't warn you (better late than never right?).

What? It's Uke Related... Sort of.

Why can't all videos be like this?


He has a uke... fairly certian he's not playing a uke.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Eyes on the Bear...

Ok you crazy kids. I usually leave this "oversized-glasses girl" thing to UKI, but this one came with a dancing sock bear.




Nauseatingly cute all the way around. Love it.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

UWC Jam You Long Time

So the Ukulele World Congress had its second year of awesome good times and we managed to all make it out alive again (but just barely).  There were good people, good booze, and a whole lot of jammin' going on at the field.  This year, we decided to step it up a notch and get some actual arrangements prepared ahead of time.  Rhythm parts, lead parts, boy parts, girl parts, harmonies,  and a shitload of solos.  We managed to beat our own record (8m54s) of the last time we recorded this Neil Young tune with the addition of the awesome Little6ster and smokin' solos from the Baron, and stretched it out to just shy of 12 minutes of jamtastic noise.  UCB could not be prouder to play with our new international friends.  Video below:



And once again, it was really nice to get the whole UCB gang together, Alan, Adelle, Booze, Deach, Grumpy and myself to laugh and have a good time.  I only wish we had an opportunity to take a new group photo.  Perhaps next year.

Thanks to Mainland Ukulele (Mike and Tookta) for a great party.  There should be more (better) recaps coming up from the rest of UCB.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Just 'Cause...

Still speechless about the UWC. So enjoy this.



If you want to learn it on the ukulele and in English, see this video.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

2 Sleeping Times Left till UWC!!!


Funny, I can't sleep at night because I'm so excited!

Friday, May 28, 2010

UAS CSI

We just got back from Hawaii and I managed to NOT buy a ukulele.  Whatever this UAS thing is, I may have it under control for the first time in a long time.  We did stop by Larry's Music Store in Kapaa just to see if Aaron from UU was hanging out that day (he wasn't), but I managed to stay out of the other three or four music stores that dotted the island.  I brought along my shitty folding uke and that served me perfectly well during our stay on the garden isle. 


Not surprisingly, the guys from Ukulele Underground were super gracious hosts.  We didn't couch crash with them, but their spirits delighted/haunted our room every night in the form of slack key kazoo rhythms.  No but really, they showed us a good time and recommended some excellent local grindz.  I think I gained several pounds from the shave ice alone (how is that even possible?  is there lard in ice?  cuz that sounds delicious!).  A big thank you to Aaron, Aldrine and Ryan for the backrubz.  Oh yeah, we even got a chance to have drinks with fellow UU member Faricelli who was also on vacation with his wife.  Small world eh?

Anyway, sorry I didn't get anything for you guys.  I'll make up for it in inappropriate hugs and heavy petting at UWC.  See you bitches soon!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

I'm Waiting...

As the UWC rapidly approaches, we are all faced with decisions. What ukes should I bring? How much booze? What songs should I practice? Should I hump the Barons leg, or just french kiss him?

Seriously- meeting The Baron, for me, is going to be the highlight of the UWC. How could you not love this guy? How could his down n dirty, sultry, too many nights in a bar voice not make you swoon?

I always pictured Baron in my head as being really big- tall, solid- huge. Like a brick wall of ukulele smackdown- someone not to be fucked with. Okay honestly- that's not how I've always pictured him. There was a theory- born not solely from my mind, but with the help of another anonymous uke player ::cough:: Deach ::cough::- that the Baron was actually a half-man: that his body ended at his waist & he was legless. We only thought that for maybe, like six months- because all of his vids were shot from about there up, & the rest of him was never in frame. Of course that couldn't have meant he was simply adjusting the camera that way- obviously there had to be a bigger secret- such as "I have no legs". Eventually he did post a full body video, and we were forced to admit that perhaps, just perhaps, we had been exaggerating.

Was I heartbroken? No- I was happy. I'm glad The Baron has legs. I bet they're quite sexy. But it did initiate my second line of thought- which was that The Baron's probably some huge biker-esque guy that you would talk smack to until he stood up & then you'd immediately start calling him "Sir". But that theory has also been blown out of the water- by videos in which he stands next to other people & fails to dwarf them, and also by my almost-husband, who has had the pleasure of getting extremely drunk with The Baron on a few occasions while visiting Sweden.

I expressed my sadness to Russ in an email & without asking him first I'm going to quote his reply to me: "Baron is definitely not a tall Swede. but he could probably crush a lot of people if he tripped and rolled down a hill. A wee wrecking ball." (Russ-ism's are the best, aren't they?)

So Baron- I hope your liver is well rested & I hope you have some stain resistant pants. Because we are going to get you drunk & take advantage of you, oh yes.

Manitoba Hal blows the doors off of Sixteen Tons

Now this is how to use a loop station. Also love that snakebite distortion. For that matter, cool mic.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

From the list of Things You Should Never Know

Ever wonder what your Aunt Sally does on her days off from the Call Center? Well, watch and learn:


Friday, May 14, 2010

WWJD?

In other words, What Would JasonMrazzz Do?

The Ukulele World Congress is coming up in a few weeks. For those of us flying to the party, we have to make the very difficult choice of which ukulele to bring along. I know it's not exactly "Sophie's Choice", but this decision has been plaguing me for the past few months. I'd like to bring my beater Fluke because there's a good chance I'll be losing it in the fields again. However, I'd also like to bring one of my Mainland ukes that have the built-in pickup so I can plug-in onstage for the open mic sessions. Thirdly, I'd like to bring the U-bass so UCB can get all full bandy on these mofos.  What to do, what to do?

You know how airlines are these days, they want to charge you for every single thing you bring on the plane: check-in baggage, carry-on baggage, oversized hats, bad attitudes, etc. It's gotten so ridiculous. Last year, I brought a biggish backpack and my Fluke so i didn't check-in any luggage.  That worked out fine AND I only wore half the stuff I brought (I guess bringing a button down shirt, necktie, and dress shoes to a party in the woods wasn't necessary.  Go figure.).  That means this year I can pack less clothes and mayyybe stuff a second uke into my backpack.  Or maybe I don't need a change of clothes at all.  I'll just triple up on the deodorant.

So what are you guys bringing?  (Other than your A-game)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Yay! It's Back!

The Otamatone makes another appearance.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Well Fine Then

Alright- ya know what? To hell with you guys. I tried to post a nice, uke related blog- all calm & rational & sensical... & what do I get? Well not comments, that's for sure. So fine. You've backed me into a corner. Ya wanna know what I *really* think?

I think that getting extremely drunk & watching Lost right before bed gives you some severly messed up dreams. Whacky, whacky shit.

I think that it's important to set realistic goals for yourself. That's why my goal for the UWC this year is to vomit on someones shoes.

I think that Mothers Day is freaking awesome- it's even better than my birthday. I told my twelve year old son I wanted him to paint my toe nails for me & you shoulda seen the look on his face. Pure terror.

I think that snow in May is ridonkulous- but it still snowed here this morning.

I think that the fact that someone sent me a message on Youtube Friday solely to tell me that they had surpassed me in subs was jaw dropping. They shalt remain nameless of course.... but I figure that the size of this persons balls would make them easily recongnizable if anyone should ever run into them. I mean seriously- do you have to get specially tailored pants for that?

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Good for what ails ya

Boredrum. It happens. It happens in any relationship & there's no shame in it happening to us & ukuleles. It doesn't mean we don't still love em- there's no need for new comers to ::gasp ZOMG:: about it. There's no reason to lie about it. We should say it loud, say it proud- "I'm getting bored!!"- cause that's when other people can jump in with suggestions & help renew interest.

My recommendation for today is: change tunings. So fun. I dropped my fluke down a half step & I played every song I knew. Then I dropped it another half step & did it again. Some songs sounded fantastic- better in my opinion. Others... sucked. All were fun. It's a bit of a challenge to sing tunes you've gone through a million times in a different key- finding all the right notes. Before I knew it- I'd been playing for a couple hours.

Now I have a burning desire to do this to all the ukuleles I own & see what sounds good how... or something ;p

Friday, May 7, 2010

Grumpfest, now with 100% more Hobbit!

So if any of you remember, half of UCB had a little gathering up in Seattle this past January. Booze and Grump kept making fun of me for running the video camera all the time like a stereotypical Japanese tourist (Jokes on them, I'm not Japanese, I'm 80/20 Columbian and Persian). Anyhow, I've been sitting on all this random footage plus the only actual performance footage we got while we were hanging out with Howlin' Hobbit. So here is "Girl from Ipanema" performed by Howlin' Hobbit, Boozelele and Grumpy on lead lute cut with random footage from that weekend.



Notable moments:
0. "Taint song" jam on the bleachers (old footage from previous Portland trip)
1. Visiting the Fremont Troll
2. Buying fried things at Ivar's on the waterfront
3. Pike Place Market and street musicians
4. Some tool in a Subaru
5. Shopping for beer with Howlin' Hobbit
6. Cheez-its
7. Booze cutting the 3rd or 4th pizza of the night
8. Jazzzz handzzz
9. Booze forcing us to "walk" on the Burke-Gilman trail
10. Two clowns film each other for ultimate act of geekdom
11. Grumpy stares at bubbling swamp water
12. Getting hype by the edge of the lake
13. Giant bird's nest
14. Outtake from Spanish Harlem video
15. Malt liquor

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mandalyn May - "Come Again"... wow.

I can't stop watching this. Great playing - wonderful voice. Just perfect.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Deach's dog?

Methinks the dog heard "I'm Yours" once too often.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Am I late for the interwebz?

So the other night I was trying to visit Hulu- slightly drunkish- mistyped by one letter- a K instead of L aaaaand: Holy Freaking Crap My Head Exploded (Need volume on) Totally SFW, SFK- just.... I... I can't explain it. There is an ending. I know. I know because I waited. (To be honest with you, in my state at the time- I found it freaking hysterical).

I also almost forgot to show everyone this completely awesomeness squared video I came across a couple months ago, and I thought it would balance out the other thing I showed you, whilst also included ukuleles :)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The "Best"





Ok... Pet Peeve Wednesday.

We’ve been over this theme in general, but this specific version makes me nuts. When posting publicly on forums and such why is it some people insist on asking for advice on the “best” whatever it is without any context?

For example:

“What’s the best amp I can get for $x?” or “What‘s the best uke for a beginner?” Or my favorite “best stringz??” with no qualifier of any kind.

Although I know our readers understand it – I’m compelled to reinforce… “Best” is totally subjective and largely meaningless without a great deal of limiting parameters. There is no such thing as the “best uke for a beginner”, or expert for that matter.

If you find yourself typing the word “best”, try this instead:
Tell people what you want to do (I need it to be able to blaablaablaa…), tell them what you like (I prefer amps that blaaablaablaa) tell them what you DON’T like (I hate plain looking ukes that blaablaablaa) and then ask what type of X may fit well. That’s context. That’s asking for help with some hope of actually getting advice you can use. That’s actual communication between humans.

Asking for the “best” without specific context of any kind is the equivalent of a football coach trying to tell his team how to win the game by standing on the sidelines an yelling “SCORE SCORE SCORE”. It doesn’t help anyone and it's very unlikley to get you what you want.

Monday, April 26, 2010

UWC IS COMING!

As UWC 2010 draws near it is interesting to see just how popular this thing is becoming. I blogged about the dangers of events becoming too popular back in July, right after the 2009 UWC, and looking back now I think I underestimated just how big this thing would be. Regardless it was still a damned fine blog. Aside from the popularity though, I hope I was wrong about potential problems said popularity might bring...but in case it all goes to hell I want to be able to say "I told you so", so here is that blog...

(but just to hedge my bet, I could be completely wrong...I often am)

Damned Ukulele Playing Hippies




I was lying in bed last night thinking... (as I tend to do when I should be sleeping) and my mind wandered back to the Ukulele World Congress. I don't think anyone who attended could possibly have anything but great memories from that weekend. The location the atmosphere and the hosts were absolutely perfect. As I was laying there thinking about how great it was I couldn't help but begin to worry about how its awesomeness could eventually be its undoing.

I have heard many folks who were not at The Congress talking about attending next year. In fact it seems there are many more non-attendees getting excited about next year's event than there were people who actually attended. And in my opinion, popularity can be a double-edged sword...

...READ THE REST, IT GETS BETTER

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Negative Nancy...

I was in a shitty mood all week. This didn't help, but it did render me speechless for a while. I still can't feel my tounge.

Uking the Vows

Groom plays his uke for his bride during vows. In other news, prom dresses can now double as wedding dresses.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Uke + Mando + Vag = Pure Magic

Okay, so this is usually Alan's thing but I thought I'd share a Youtube video that I found particularly entertaining.



Yes, they're a novelty act, but if you watch and listen they're really good.  The song is clever and they both sing and play their instruments very well.  Coyote will especially like this because the chick with the vag on her head is rocking a mandolute. I guess it is possible to perform at an open mic without uttering the words "Hey There Delilah" or "I'm Yours".  I hope to see more from these two, music-wise.  Although this isn't their channel, so I'll just have to keep my eye out for any uke performers with pink headgear.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Song for Today

She would like some subscribers.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Great way to build up your immune system

Hate, in all its wonder and glory, has often been a topic or general mood here on some of these UCB blog posts.  I was reading the paper the other day (go ahead and take a guess where I was reading it) and this short article caught my attention.  It was regarding a homeless man in Berkeley called "The Hate Man".  If you climb to the top of the mountain to look for the wise man with the answers, this might just be him.

article here:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/04/11/BA831COQP3.DTL

If you want real hate, check out the comments on that article.  Yikes!