As the UWC rapidly approaches, we are all faced with decisions. What ukes should I bring? How much booze? What songs should I practice? Should I hump the Barons leg, or just french kiss him?
Seriously- meeting The Baron, for me, is going to be the highlight of the UWC. How could you not love this guy? How could his down n dirty, sultry, too many nights in a bar voice not make you swoon?
I always pictured Baron in my head as being really big- tall, solid- huge. Like a brick wall of ukulele smackdown- someone not to be fucked with. Okay honestly- that's not how I've always pictured him. There was a theory- born not solely from my mind, but with the help of another anonymous uke player ::cough:: Deach ::cough::- that the Baron was actually a half-man: that his body ended at his waist & he was legless. We only thought that for maybe, like six months- because all of his vids were shot from about there up, & the rest of him was never in frame. Of course that couldn't have meant he was simply adjusting the camera that way- obviously there had to be a bigger secret- such as "I have no legs". Eventually he did post a full body video, and we were forced to admit that perhaps, just perhaps, we had been exaggerating.
Was I heartbroken? No- I was happy. I'm glad The Baron has legs. I bet they're quite sexy. But it did initiate my second line of thought- which was that The Baron's probably some huge biker-esque guy that you would talk smack to until he stood up & then you'd immediately start calling him "Sir". But that theory has also been blown out of the water- by videos in which he stands next to other people & fails to dwarf them, and also by my almost-husband, who has had the pleasure of getting extremely drunk with The Baron on a few occasions while visiting Sweden.
I expressed my sadness to Russ in an email & without asking him first I'm going to quote his reply to me: "Baron is definitely not a tall Swede. but he could probably crush a lot of people if he tripped and rolled down a hill. A wee wrecking ball." (Russ-ism's are the best, aren't they?)
So Baron- I hope your liver is well rested & I hope you have some stain resistant pants. Because we are going to get you drunk & take advantage of you, oh yes.