Does this hat make me look like a tool?

Answer: Yes.

There is regular chatter in the "uke community" about hats. Specifically pork-pie, fedoras, trilbies and the like. I'm not sure why, but something about "quirky" hats appeals to the same types of folks that are attracted to the ukulele.

Sadly, there are very few people who can pull off a hat without looking like a douche-nozzle. Howling Hobbit, Craig Robertson, Aldrine G - these guys can rock a hat. It just works.

But here's the thing. Because guys like the ones I listed can pull it off - there are others who think "maybe I can get away with it..." If you find yourself asking this question, allow me to assist you and save us all some embarrassment. No. You can't rock a hat. You will look like a smacked-ass tool-bag, etc... - in short, a pretentious moron.

You see my friends, cool is self-evident. You can't make it happen. Unless you are already pretty cool, a quirky hat will only amplify your lame. For that matter - most everyone looks idiotic in a pretentious hat. It's very unlikely that the strength of your charisma will overcome that. Particularly because it's unlikely that you have any charisma to begin with.

I confess, I've been tempted to try a greek fisherman's cap, or maybe an old fashioned Springsteen-in-the-70's newsboy cap... I understand the urge. Trust me, it'll just be inconsiderate of those who don't want to hurt your feelings. Don't put them in that position.

Hope this saves you some time, and more importantly, saves me from having to tell you that you look like you are wearing a bad Yogi bear costume.