Can we all agree that crystal meth is just not a good idea? I mean it is possible to use even the most harshest of substances in moderation but some drugs are just not a good idea. I just saw a National Geographic document on crystal meth and it was about as freaky as one of those Scared Straight programs they used to show at school (with a little less rape threats and prison bitch bartering).
And then there's coked out Charlie Sheen. He's kind of the poster boy for functioning drug addicts in that he's been a hot mess in his private life but has been able to work for a long long time (i know, i know, until "now"). Perhaps it helps that he has plenty of money to support such a habit. A mansion is a pretty swell place to enjoy hookers, blow, and whatever ball-stepping, golden shower, IKEA furniture demolition fetishes he may be into. Good for him, I guess? I can think of worse ways to burn your money, model trains come to mind.
(Oh yeah, and yes, I agree that the crew of Two and a Half Men are getting a raw deal while Charlie Sheen gets his shit together but that's not the point of this post.)
So what about the recent fascination with energy drinks? I remember when Red Bull was one of the only energy drinks around. Sure, it tastes like sweetened pee (don't ask) but it helps you stay awake to study for that calculus exam or drive your Hyundai to Tijuana. I was never a big fan of Red Bull or it's lame douchebaggy cousin "Red Bull and Vodka", but I can see how it can be useful to some people who need it. But now, there are so many brands of energy drinks on the shelf including the infamous Four Loko, which I have never tried, although I can only imagine it being similar to smoking crack on the 72nd hour of your bender. With names like Rockstar, Monster, RELOAD (yes, all caps), Bawls, Shark Stimulation, Crunk, there is no shortage of not-so-cleverly named liquid crack beverages available in your local 7-11. One of my favorites that I've seen is MAD DOG Energy Lemonade. That gives me an image of little kids selling lemonade on their front lawn decked out in Ed Hardy t-shirts and kiddy 'roid rage.
Well at least we have the classy original, Red Bull. No need for monster trucks and pyrotechnics to sell that right? Until now...
"Drink Red Bull. You too can be an insane murderous tranny Zebra, Yee Haw!!!"