Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Live! Girls Girls Girls!

See what you've brought upon everyone, Alan?...

I am woman! Hear me.... cover bad pop songs? Watch me squeeze my boobies together?

As a woman, I am ashamed. Ashamed of all the girls on youtube, ukulele players not even being the teeniest tip of the iceburg- but I shall contain my ranting to them.

If I see one more girl... with a low cut, tight shirt, camera hanging from the ceiling staring straight down into Boobville- uke shoved up like a wonder bra, covering some pop song that has 185 related videos of the same damn song...

I swear. It's either that or short shorts, or the camera angled up & directly at the chest, or both... and then there's the talking... the talking, the talking. Ugh. "I'm cute!! I have a ukulele!! Wheee!!" The ones that have good voices, seem to all have the same good voice. It's that pop style.

Glasses? Did someone say glasses? I wear them myself, have since I was 7. I take them off for vids cause of the glare, and because what I'm trying to showcase in my vids is my soul. The eyes are windows to it, you know. I'm not sure what boobs are the window to.

It doesn't just fucking happen. You don't just randomly record & upload a video to youtube while wearing your bathing suit. You don't step out from the shower in a towel to find a camera rolling. Look... I have boobs. You can't fool me. I know for a fact that when they're hanging out, you can freaking feel that. You know. And even if you didn't purchase that shirt, you did put it on... & I'm positive you are aware of the cut of it.

I find myself thinking when watching videos of this nature... "What is it you want to be? A model, a porn star, or a uke player?" (Maybe it's all 3- wouldn't that be exciting!) It completely takes away from the music. Maybe half of the girls I'm talking about have soul but I personally find it hard to overlook the figurative "slut" tattoo across their foreheads to see it. Am I being too harsh here? I'm sure it goes the other way... my vids are very plain visually & that's probably boring to a lot of people. My still shots don't have any T or A in them. Not even B. So sad, so sad...

I don't wanna go to overboard serious here, but I often wonder what someone like Alice Paul would think of women today. How far we've come! And now we are free & have the right to show our goodies to each & every random drooling 50-something weird fat guy in 70s jogging shorts that may be trolling the internet at 3am!

8 comments:

RussBuss said...

mmm, hate for breakfast. even better than shredded wheat.

and leave boozelle's jogging shorts alone. those were standard issue when he went to college in the 50's.

UKISOCIETY said...

Awesome post, Adelle. Funny you should stumble upon my mantra:

"I'm cute! I have a ukulele! Wheeee!!!"

Eyes are the windows to the soul but boobies are the doorway to Happy Town.

Boozelele said...

I was totally with you until you called me out in that last sentence. :(

Mugambismonkey said...

Ehm... ok, Adelle it's perfectly alright if you're not going to show us yours (even though I think it's a pitty, since they're surely really nice!!) Thank god there are still all these other girls who happen to have a video camera running when they are just stepping out of the shower... And I have to object, there IS soul in boobies as there IS also soul in sex! It's such a shame that all our hippy parents have fought for sexual freedom in the 70s and this freedom has long since gone down the drain... it's a pitty, really... and I LIKE TO SEE BOOBS ON YOUTUBE, YES I DO!! (Ha, that felt good... and now you can stone me if you want...)

Grumpy Coyote said...

1) You are not wrong

2) I am not 50, and those are boxer shorts. Booze is the gym-short type.

3) I like boobies too.


BUT - I'm 100% with you on this. It's the formula of the whole thing that makes me crazy. The utter lack of originality or substance. The stunning lack of creativity is the most offensive.

Boozelele said...

I like boobs as much as the next guy, maybe more. But I think if you are watching a video to see a uke playing girl...that is what you should get. If you are watching a video to see boobs. There are plenty of sites for that. If you want to see naked uke playing, there should be a site for that too. But I agree with Adelle, you should know up front what you are getting.

Mugambismonkey said...

1) @Grumpy: I agree totally on "the stunning lack of creativity is the most offensive". But it's also easy to explain?! Aren't we all trained that sex sells? Aren't the big advertisement agencies and "creative directors" trying to sell us stuff through boobies every day on TV, on huge posters, etc? So why shouldn't I try to sell you MY bad uke-playing and song coverings with MY BOOBS? (Nono, don't worry, I won't do that... that was just an example)
2) @Boozelle: I prefer to be surprized! (Life's a box of chocolate, you never "know up front what you are getting"...) I like it like it is. COME ON GIRLS! SURPRISE ME! :-)

deach said...

Mugambismonkey - if you like surprises, go to Thailand.

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