I realize that self diagnosis' aren't always correct... but I believe I am this time. I know we all joke around about having UAS & that's all well & good... but guys... I just discovered... I have something reffered to as 'UKS'.
I'm sure you're wondering what that is, how I came to realize I'm a likely sufferer, what it means for my future. I'm wondering that one myself. The only thing I'm entirely certain of is that you guys will support me & help me work through it- and that means an awful lot to me.
Okay fish hook! Fish hook! Pull it out yo mouth! UKS- Ukulele Keeping Syndrome. I cannot- CANNOT- imagine parting with a single one of my ukes under any circumstances. Is that wrong? Am I greedy?
I collect a loooot of things. Since it's not empty toothpaste tubes or toe nail clippings, or cats- I don't consider myself weird or a "hoarder". But oh, I do love my things. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna give em up. I can't even give away paperback books I read.... a uke? Pffft. Sorry. I'd have to be reeeallly high & you'd have to be reeaeallly convincing.
At the UWC there was this little boy who wanted a uke & he was Deached one by Deach after Boozelle got all fucking soft watching the kid strum one. That's probably the only moment in time when I would have outright given my own uke away without hesitation or morning regret. But, it passed. The kid got a uke & I didn't have to give mine up & the universe continues in harmony. Booze is still going to hell, but he at least now has one line on the "good" side of the chalkboard of his soul.
If I was broke, selling a uke wouldn't even cross my mind. I would live on the streets with them.
*Giving someone a uke is different. Buying one to give them- I would totally do that. I think too that if one was passed on to me from someone else, and it was done with that wording "I'm passing this on to you", I would be able to pass that one on again. But as for the ones I've picked out & bought, & especially the ones that were given to me by Deach... I could never part with those.
I'm having a contest- the video announcing it will be posted Sunday night sometime. Guess what you win? Not a fucking ukulele! This is how I realized I have UKS. I have a concert Lanikai that I haven't touched in... well... since I got the Adelle fluke. The thought of giving it away made my heart break. It was the first uke I bought, my sole instrument for a long time on which many an original song was written. The fact that I haven't played it in forever probably leads to the logical conclusion that it would be okay to give it away to someone who actually would play it. I'm sorry. Think whatever you will of me- I can't do it. Yes I would love to give the gift of music to someone.... but I can't part with my ukes. That's honestly the only one I don't play at least once a week, and I just can't do it. It sits proudly in it's stand in my living room. I don't have to play it... it knows I still love it. We had some really great times together- wrote a lot of songs. We played I Kissed a Girl together & unveiled Deachs face to the world- plus really got to know Russ, Booze & Alan in the process. We played I Don't Like Mondays for someone I vaguely called "Grumpy Coyote Man". We's tight.
So I'll save up to build an addition on the house. Maybe I'll get a big Scrooge McDuck room where I can roll around in my ukes. Maybe someday I'll have so many there will be one in both bathrooms- a uke hanger next to the TP holder. I love ya- I want you to be inspired- I want you to play... but ::hugging uke semi-defensivly::
Think what you will. Think I'm greedy, selfish, stingy. What-ev. You can't deny I love my ukes, though. And I can't deny I'm slightly crazy ;p